My beautiful liberating vacation day,

Yesterday I spent the entire day completely obsessing over the results of my progesterone lab. I had it done on Thursday and was thinking about it all day at work Friday. After I got home I called the clinic twice. Each time they told me that a nurse would call me back, they never did. It was hard not to feel upset, I was feeling so anxious, now I had to wait for another whole day to get my precious results! I spent a good portion of the night googling things like 'Normal Progesterone Level', 'Progesterone 7DPO', 'Progesterone Clomid', 'Progesterone IUI'. Finally I gave up and played Hearts on the lap top while watching a movie.

Step one: Liberation. Turning off that alarm.

Before bed I made a decision which made me feel oh so much better about myself and better about my sanity. I have a tendency to let this want/need to have children control my life sometimes, more like all of the time, and I realized that I needed to subside a little. Relax. So, I made the huge decision to pick up my cell phone and turn off the 5:30 AM alarm that I wake up to every day (even on the weekends- my days off) to take my BBT (basal body temperature).
This is HUGE for me because I usually take it every single day and have for about a year. I keep my pages of recorded cycles all nice and neat in a little purple folder on my bedside table next to the thermometer and phone alarm.

I decided that, for the first time in who knows when, I was going to sleep soundly and uninterruptedly through a Saturday morning without taking my temperature.

Crawling into bed that night with my husband, after moving over our sweet little sleeping mini dachshund, I felt really good. REALLY good. I felt so liberated and a bit rebellious. Ha! Take that!! I am in charge of my life...

I was going to take a day off!

I fell right to sleep, had some kind of dream about my husband shaving his beard, and woke up nice and late to the sun shining brightly through my window. Ahhhhh...

Step two: Vacation. Going to the beach!

What a beautiful morning! My husband, Jason, made a delicious bacon, egg, toast breakfast and because this was the first sunny weekend day we've had in Oregon for a long time (it's been raining like crazy here!!) we decided to throw the dog in the car and drive to the beach!!

It was perfect! It wasn't windy at all, and there wasn't a cloud in the sky! We took a super long route that we'd never taken before, laughing and singing to random songs the whole way over. We kept double checking the only map we had in the car (which happened to be an atlas- and wasn't much help,) to figure out which little towns we were going through, and ended up way more south than what we were shooting for! I love Jason so much, we had so much fun!

The ocean was spectacular, as it always is. We were in complete awe of it, as we always are. Even though we've lived our whole lives less than 100 miles of it, and visited it over 500 times throughout the years, it's something that we never get tired of. We ran our little dog all around the beaches and trails between Florence and Newport, (because he never gets tired of it either!)

A few ahi tuna tacos, a dead tired pup and about 300 miles (round-trip) later, we all made it home safely, I never even called the clinic.

Didn't even think of it, actually.

I feel fresh and clear. Liberated and powerful. If there is a child inside of me, this lightening of my soul has certainly done them good.


I recommend a 'sanity vacation' once in a while to every woman TTC!

But no worries, I'm ready to get back to my same ole obsessions tomorrow!

My alarm is set! :)